Leave Something for the Archaeologists
Khmunu
2005-01-07
3:08 pm
"How do I get out of Elmo's World?"--- Burt
"Elmo doesn't know!!!"--- Elmo
Recently, while watching an episode of Sesame Street, some of the more obscure truths of this most interesting universe were revealed to me.
I have always believed that all the esoteric knowledge of the world will eventually be revealed on Sesame Street. This is one of the reasons I have continued watching it all of these years. Well that and the cute muppets.
This particular episode revealed several important points concerning the future, the new nature of the world, and the evil George-Lucas-loving empire which now seeks to shape this country and our children - and the future of the world. And watching Sesame Street, observing its influence upon the future, I thank the muppet gods for the show, and its die-hard liberal hippie creators, their message to our offspring, and their constant envelope-pushing fervor against the now-dominant paradigm. Here are some of the points brought up in just one brain-exploding episode:
Point #1: Alternative Economic Systems Are Not Evil. Sesame Street, while not rejecting capitalism, has certainly made it clear that socialism, communism and "sharing" are acceptable alternative forms of the economic system. Oscar the Grouch has even stated that he believes Elmo to in fact be a communist, in that he has taken to calling him "The Red Menace."
Point #2: Alternative Sexualities Are Not "Wrong." Everyone knows that Burt is gay, and there is a possibility that Prairie Dawn is a closet lesbian. What is coming to light recently however is that Ernie is into bestiality. Birds in particular. This is not an entirely sexual thing either - he has a deep and meaningful relationship with Rubber Ducky, although it is by no means exclusive. Ernie plays "Journey to Ernie" with Big Bird, and he has also occasionally had flocks of sheep in his bedroom. Burt has complained about the noise. This is pushing the envelope once again - with the current 20 something generation of liberals being tolerant of the more mainstream alternative lifestyles - largely due to Sesame Street - the show is now setting up the acceptance of minority alternative sexualities to manifest in the next 20-25 years.
Point #3: Accept and Include People Who Are Different From You. Yes, everyone knows that Sesame Street teaches cultural diversity, and that people are people, no matter where they are from. But what is less apparent is that this teaching extends into preparing children for the psychological insanity that will manifest in the next 20-25 years. The monsters on the show range from the neurotic to the psychotic. Tele is in terrible need of a Zoloft, Cookie Monster has an eating disorder, Big Bird is 30 and still carries around his teddy bear, Oscar is a misanthrope, and Grover actually has created his own little fantasy world in which he is a super hero. These are all topped however by Elmo, who lives in a world entirely drawn of crayon, thinks his goldfish talks to him, and regularly kidnaps babies and interviews them. But we love them all anyway.
Point #4:The World Is a Magical Place, and No One Needs to Be "Saved" From It. Sesame Street is a happy street with happy people. No one's filthy rich or super-thin, but life is simple and good, just because they're living it. And the world - far from being some mundane, Republican, Bush-loving, Jesus-land - is full of monsters, vampires, giant birds, extinct mammals, overly-enthusiastic AI's, and a worm that's been to outer space. And if you wish hard enough, the chimera you create will take form, and so will your dreams.
Thank you Sesame Street. You're more powerful then you know.
