Leave Something for the Archaeologists
Tel el Amarna
2004-10-14
6:51 pm
Back to My Filthy Evil I Guess...
As I'm convinced that no one actually reads this little diary of mine, I've decided to use it as a forum to air all of your dirty laundry. Here's all the dirt I currently have on you people...
On his last excursion to Oceania, Malraux was secretly married in a mass ceremony to a large Maori drag queen named FiFi La Roo, and all of the remaining Gibb brothers. Unfortunately, FiFi was accidentally bludgeoned to death at the reception when one of her husbands spun around too sharply on the dance floor, knocking FiFi in the head with a huge gold chain necklace. Everyone was acquitted of the wrongful death charges as the trial was held in Alice Springs. Unfortunately, after the trial all of the remaining Gibb brothers were found shot in the head. Malraux is wanted for questioning, and is currently hiding somewhere in the Andean Cordillera.
Pairodox, tired of being teased by other Librarian/Classicists about his heterosexuality, has decided to acquire a boyfriend, preferably one under the age of 16, in keeping with proper ancient greek tradition. Applications are now being accepted, but competition is stiff, and many applicants have been positively bending over backward for the position.
Arcanologist was recently contacted by an alien world known as Zeitan, and asked to take part in a human/zeitanian exchange program. Arcanologist was at first excited to discover that the world had 27 sexes and 392 genders. However, the excitement soon ebbed when the Zeitanians explained that sex was not permitted on their planet. Arcanologist did not take part in the exchange program.
Heph is secretly keeping Charlize Theron in a storage facility in Bradenton, FL. Theron (unable to walk while recovering from injuries she sustained on the set of Aeon Flux) said that although Heph had been "very kind" to her during her captivity, she was nonetheless tired of eating bratwurst and watching reruns of old Minnesota Vikings games, and is eager to return to work.
Kelticmutt, when watching an old episode of South Park, was delighted to discover the existence of the "Antonio Bandaras Love Doll." No one has heard from him in weeks...
On Saturday, Omegaserpent finally tied the knot with long time companion, Soccer. They are registered at Game Stop.
If you were mentioned here and wish to make a statement concerning your recent activities, or merely wish to reveal information and/or rat out your friends, please leave a message for the archaeologists to dig up later. Any and all complaints should be directed to: www.kissmysweetspiderass.com
Have a nice day...
